Letters From A Tory

Dear Ed Balls,

You are having a rough time at the moment, aren’t you!  Not content with being part of a government that is clearly in a terminal slump, you have dug a sizeable hole for yourself with all your cheeky antics.

First, there was the infamous ‘So what?’ comment, when David Cameron highlighted the ever-increasing tax burden on British families after the Budget.  Your desperate attempt to get out of this mess by claiming you said ‘So weak’ instead is even more embarrassing.  One would have thought that after such an awful howler in front of the world’s media you would keep your head down for a while, but you kept on digging.  Today you stand accused of burying bad news on education to deflect attention away from the failing schools admission system, and then I find out that your department is happy to abuse our education system by flooding school lessons with lies and propoganda about the Iraq war, leading some to accuse the government of trying to rewrite history.

I have no sympathy with you on any of these counts.  I hope that the public’s perception of you takes a hammering over each and every one of these stories because your arrogance and disdain towards education and political integrity is totally unacceptable.

Yours in loathing,

A.Tory

Dear readers,

The analysis in today’s papers is suitably damning of Alistair Darling’s lame budget yesterday.  He reannounced a lot of policies, used the word ’stability’ way too many times in an attempt to convince us he was in control of the situation, and tried to use ‘green’ taxes to raise some extra cash under the thin veil of ’saving the environment’.  So, instead of laying into Darling like everyone else, I suggest you read an excellent article I found on the issue of green taxes, which brilliantly deconstructs the whole issue of environmental taxation and explains why it is complete rubbish.

‘Police warn crowds that Alistair Darling will be giving a speech outside 11 Downing Street before announcing the Budget’

(…if you don’t read out the Budget speech that I’ve given you and pretend it’s yours, I swear to god I’m going to take a razor to those stupid eyebrows and….)