Letters From A Tory

“Faced with a ballot paper, it will come home to them that Ken Livingstone has been there too long, Boris Johnson is too much of a risk and they will vote for me. I don’t think it’s over until it’s over.”

- Brian Paddick, the Lib Dem mayoral candidate who obviously hasn’t been reading the polls

Dear Brian Paddick,

Decision time for the Lib Dems has arrived a little earlier than expected.  There are already a few predictions floating around Westminster as to whether the Lib Dems would prefer a Conservative or Labour coalition at the next general election.  Now, thanks to Ken Leavingsoon’s desperate and frail campaign, you are being tempted into a coalition with Labour over the mayoral votes.

So what are you going to do?  To my mind, this is very straightforward.  Nick Clegg and yourself have been battling to turn Lib Dem fortunes around after a miserable 2007.  You have both tried to set the agenda and be seen as a genuine alternative to the two main parties.  If you show even the slightest hint of wanting to join forces with Ken Leavingsoon (who, let’s not forget, is running a thoroughly incompetent office and is mired in charges of maladministration) then every ounce of independence and claims to being an alternative at the ballot box will be thrown away.  Your second preference votes will obviously be very important, but to join with Ken will undermine everything you and Nick Clegg have worked for and will portray you as a weak and scheming candidate who has given up hope of making an impact on May 1st.

It’s your choice - and it’s your loss if you think Ken Leavingsoon is the right man for the Lib Dems.

Yours sincerely,

A.Tory

I’m not sure that the policies from each mayoral candidate in London have really kicked in yet.  There’s a bit of publicity here and there, but nothing substantial.  However, I believe that I may stumbled across the most effective and hard-hitting policy announced thus far by any candidate - which has come from Brian Paddick.  Check this out.

Dear Brian Paddick,

I would have thought that after securing your place alongside Boris and Ken in the race to be London Mayor, you might have started to build a campaign based on integrity, credibility, policy and charisma.  Evidently you have decided that this is far too dull and monotonous and will instead go down the classy and sophisticated route of humiliating former colleagues, destroying other people’s reputations and generally engaging in classic political attention-seeking behaviour.

I’m not saying the people you will apparently name and shame in your upcoming book don’t deserve a good metaphorical kicking, but I’m not sure the public will warm to your unique approach to winning votes.

Yours in confusion,

A.Tory