Letters From A Tory

Dear Boris Johnson,

In light of the remarks made yesterday about you, I sincerely hope that you can remain calm and collected and resist the temptation to get drawn into the dispicable kind of electioneering that Ken Leavingsoon is throwing at you.  His personal remarks were shocking and distasteful but you cannot afford to retaliate.

The word ‘desperate’ doesn’t even come close to what Leavingsoon is resorting to.  To have Doreen Lawrence, the mother of the murdered black teenager Stephen Lawrence, to make some outrageous and totally unfounded remarks is stooping about as low as he can get.  She said: “Ken has given tremendous support to the Stephen Lawrence Centre which is in memory of my son. I do not believe the Tory candidate would have had such commitment to the centre.”  How the hell can she say that?  The fact that this quote magically appears at the launch of Leavingsoon’s campaign when he finds himself so far behind in the polls, instead of many months ago, shows precisely what he is willing to do to derail your campaign.  For Leavingsoon to then suggest that the “culture of openness, tolerance and mutual respect” will be lost if you become Mayor is similarly disgusting.  The fact that he is using such tactics shows that this culture is already irrelevant in his eyes, such is his contempt for fellow politicians and Londoners.

Leavingsoon getting a bereaved mother to take verbal shots at you is all you need to know with regard to his campaigning tactics.  I suspect there is more of this to come, but please please please do not get involved in this.  Like Cameron, you are painting a positive picture about the future of London with some very sensible policies and this is the right road for you.  Long may it continue.

Yours respectfully,

A.Tory

“He has repeatedly said he is directly responsible for the actions of his advisers and he should take Jasper’s place and answer the questions that Jasper won’t. Otherwise Londoners can only conclude he is arrogant and out of touch. Londoners deserve to know where their hard-earned cash has gone.”

- Boris Johnson’s comments to Ken Livingstone, after the long overdue resignation of Lee Jasper

Dear Boris Johnson,

I hope yesterday was the start of things to come.  Crime is a serious issue in London and the fear of crime that has gone through the roof under Ken LeavingSoon is making life a misery for many Londoners.

More British Transport police officers is a very sensible suggestion, seeing as people should feel safe travelling around London but I personally don’t remember the last time I actually saw an officer on a train, bus or tube.  CCTV on buses will hopefully have a similar impact, especially now that LeavingSoon has given every teenager in London completely free reign on public transport.  Anyone with half a brain would tell you that anti-social behaviour is clearly being encouraged by offering free transport to all teenagers, regardless of which part of London you live in.  I’m glad to see that you will be withdrawing those privileges from poorly behaved individuals, although enforcing it will need to be thought through carefully.

Ken LeavingSoon is scum and Londoners want to get rid of him, but you need to keep presenting yourself as the right man for the job in order to mobilise your support base in May.  Keep pushing hard, and you can definitely win this contest.

Yours sincerely,

A.Tory

“If it’s a hair transplant, then it’s one that took place entirely without my knowledge”

- Boris Johnson MP, in response to a questioner suspicious about his famous unruly straw mop

Dear Boris Johnson,

Whilst you had a clear theme to your Telegraph article this morning, you also scared the life out of me.  Never before have I seen the word ‘caterpillar’ used in a newspaper when discussing political matters, and your analogy of two giant hairy caterpillars mating has ensured that I will never look at Alistair Darling’s eyebrows in the same way again.

Only you could describe the indecision in Gordon Brown’s mind quite so eloquently.  The key factor yet to make an appearance in the media is of course the next poll ratings, and no doubt all the papers are full of predictions as to what kind of lead would/would not see Brown calling an early election.  My suspicion is that he will need a lead of at least five to six points before he contemplates calling an autumn election, but I believe that would still be enough for him to win with a reduced majority - which could ultimately cripple his government.  I agree that the recent poll ratings can only get worse for Brown, but all the cries for an early election announcement before the Conservatives had even had their conference were ridiculous because Brown always had to ‘wait and see’.  A small poll lead would leave him with the most uneviable decision he could ever wish for, although his natural caution will probably see him postpone an election until next year.

In short, Cameron has mounted as big a fightback as he could possibly muster in a short space of time.  If Cameron’s conference and speech cannot prevent an early election, nothing will.

Warmest regards,

A.Tory