Dear readers,
After the recent success and amusement gained from publishing the most bizarre google search engine terms that brought people to my blog to mark the six month anniversary of this blog, I’ve decided to make it a regular feature. Every search engine term in this list is completely genuine, with my comments in brackets. Hope you get a few chuckles out of this lot:
alcohol donations labour (that explains a lot)
extra tube carriages obesity (the mental image is hilarious)
psychological issues of lesbian (didn’t realise they had any)
darling is incompetent (glad you noticed)
ed balls so what (a truly memorable moment in British politics)
jeremy clarkson qualifications (presumably he some, yes)
marry abroad jack straw (as long as jack is fine with that)
incompetent idiotic labour government (indeed)
slow painful deaths (not something I normally cover on this blog)
susan ruusunen butt pics (who is susan ruusunen and why is her butt so interesting?)
cctv on buses in havering (no idea)
what is life actually (definitely too deep for me)
browns puppet alistair darling (hard to disagree)
new baby best wishes (from this blog?!)
“wild gay sex” asquith (it’s his private life, I suppose)
jacqui smith contempt court (oh, how I long for the day…)
“do your job properly” royal mail (wouldn’t that be a nice change)
george bush is gay (errr…)
south west trains drivers greedy (yup)
joke ikea job request (cheeky)
mccain zimmer (even more cheeky)
witch hunt letters (an appalling accusation)
scottish marriages (I’m sure they happen?…)
oxfordshire orgies (eeewwww)
jobs for slow people (any suggestions?)
why do train drivers get paid so much (good question)
nazi orgies (again, eeewwww)
ken livingston sex orgies (I think I’m going to spew…)
dentist iain dale (yes, he probably does have one, shock horror)
how to become a train driver (well, with such a high salary…)
livingstone is corrupt and a disgrace to politics (very true - allegedly)
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This month’s highlight was certainly orgies. 22 people typed “orgies” to get to my blog, 19 typed “nazi orgies” and 7 people typed “roman orgy” - all thanks to Max Mosley. Well done sir. Not only am I now number one on google for “tory lesbians” (an improvement from number three at the time I wrote my previous list of google searches) I am also near the top of the google rankings for “nazi orgies” - try it yourself it you don’t believe me. You can see why I’m REALLY starting to worry about who might be visiting my blog…
7 responses so far ↓
Bahtat // May 5, 2008 at 11:30 am
Ms Ruusunen is the ex squeeze of the Finnish PM.
Actually a quick google establishes that she used to be quite tasty:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1983118/posts
Letters From A Tory // May 5, 2008 at 11:57 am
Ah, that explains it…
http://lettersfromatory.wordpress.com/2008/03/06/quote-of-the-day-35/
asquith // May 5, 2008 at 5:28 pm
As I recall, I used the phrase “wild gay sex” to describe the actions of Henry, son of Derek Conway. I don’t know who did that google search. Perhaps it was me, well into an afternoon/night drinking.
I myself prefer the lesbians. Imagine a 20-something woman taking an 18 year old girl’s virginity. Brilliant
On a university campus. The girl was getting really lonely and wondered if she would ever find love. Or perhaps 2 roommates in America.
Letters From A Tory // May 5, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Each to their own!
John Ward // May 6, 2008 at 4:01 pm
“Jobs for slow people” - snail herding, perhaps?
Letters From A Tory // May 6, 2008 at 9:55 pm
I’d recommend canvassing for Labour as well.
Candid // May 6, 2008 at 10:53 pm
Oh my god that’s it!! The vast quantities of very slow people on the tube, and especially loitering around the gates - they’re in the pay of TFL to diffuse any aggression that might be aimed at them for being the worst transport provider since Hannibal!
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