Dear Minette Marrin,
You are so lucky I didn’t find your article in The Times until today, because I’m normally a bit more relaxed at weekends so I don’t tend to dish out any serious anger - but I’ll make an exception.
Your points about the modern era being “a moment for serious revaluation of men” are sickeningly patronising. Unless you haven’t noticed, everyone has been crying out for years for fathers to become more involved in family life because they have such an important role in children’s upbringing - and here you are saying ‘well, actually mums make better parents’. I’m not denying that women have naturally better parenting skills, but to use that as an argument to say that lesbians should be allowed full access to IVF treatment is horrifying.
With divorce laws and parenting rights so unbelievably biased against men, your suggestion that “increasing numbers of straight women [don’t] appear to need men at all” is outrageous and just goes to show how heavily the law discriminates against men. Obviously, some men are poor role models and don’t value their family enough - that much I agree with. However, taxpayers funding lesbians to have IVF at a cost of around £10,000 a cycle (with an appallingly low success rate) is a disgrace and I would crush those laws if I became Prime Minister.
Children need a mother and father - it’s how evolution has shaped the human race and families with gay parents will never ever ever ever offer an upbringing as good as a loving mum and dad, not even close. The fact that not all mums and dads make good parents is no reason to start looking at other options, because the government has done sod all to improve general parenting skills and financial incentives are in entirely the wrong place for parents.
Every child needs a father and a mother. No argument, no discussion, no debate.
A.Tory
8 responses so far ↓
ken // December 4, 2007 at 3:30 am
Your last comment is powerful..
“Every child needs a father and a mother. No argument, no discussion, no debate.”
May I make a slight change..
Every child needs a father and a mother. No argument, no discussion, no debate. No democracy.
Letters From A Tory // December 4, 2007 at 8:31 am
Apologies - what I was referring to was my own beliefs. When I’m discussing the NHS, education, police reform, the welfare state etc I am always keen to hear different sides of the argument on policy issues and I often change my perspective in light of what other people tell me.
However, when it comes to my views on the family, no-one will ever change my views on the importance of a mother and father for every child (see ‘Why I write this blog’).
British Patriot // December 5, 2007 at 5:38 am
I used to Blame Feminists for the undermining of Our Society, but I was wrong.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7373201783240489827&q=education%2Billuminati&hl=en
its the future // December 13, 2007 at 6:45 pm
i am very disturbed by reading this blog. firstly i think it is awlful to say that it is a waste of tax payers money to offer IVF treatment to lesbains. i pay my taxes and im very glad to be able to give people the chance to be parents. who are u to say its wrong for people to want to procreate. lesbians do not appear to be wanting to rule out men. they are not trying to make them extinct and many do believe that a male influence is needed in a childs life. yet who is to say that it has to be the sperm donner who provides that male influnce.
the world today is not a’traditional family’ and it is a very very old fashioned and closed minded idea that the world will continue to be that way. i think it is disgustiing to say that only straight people should be able to have children, implying that single sex parents are not good enought to raise children. we all want to procreate and as long as there is love and stable home to bring a child up in, who is to say it is a wrong upbringing??
when single sex parents choose to have a child through IVF, it is a conscious choice and one where all things are taken into account and planned for. i believe that more single sex parents maybe more prepared to raise a child as it would never be an opps.
i think people need to get with the times and changes in the world. as u never know, one day ur daughter or son could be gay and where would u closed minds get u then!!!
its not the future // December 19, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Quite frankly ‘its the future’ your comments scare me.
How can you possibly be of the opinion that same sex couples have the right to conceive children. Surely by accepting a lesbian lifestyle you automatically put yourself in a position removed from the natural conception of children.
I do not support the use of IVF as the planet could do with less children and if humans do not have the biological capabilities to have children then they shouldn’t have them. However, I do believe strongly in adoption and couples (both same sex and hetero) should consider this more charitable route.
BrianSJ // December 20, 2007 at 8:34 am
There could certainly do with being a little more joined up thinking between abortion, adoption and IVF. The latter two are dreadfully disconnected; a large number of people go through the IVF and do not succeed, then to find they are ‘too old’ to adopt, based on criteria that are clearly very different to those supporting lesbian IVF.
Given the things the NHS won’t fund (e.g. macular degeneration), it seems odd. The legal pursuit of a sperm donor may stop things, however.
Riley // May 16, 2008 at 5:29 pm
‘its the future’…I agree with everything you said. ‘its not the future’, however, your comments scare and sicken me. Who is anyone to take away the right for a woman to have IVF treatment? Lesbian or straight, it is the woman’s choice, not yours.
Every child needs a loving, caring and protective family, whether this be the love of a mother and father, two mothers, or two fathers is beside the point.
What you put forward is opinion, not fact, so before you start imposing these views on others I urge to at least have the decency to back it up with valid research evidence.
‘Research to date has reached an unequivocal conclusion about gay parenting: the children of lesbian and gay parents grow up as successfully as the children of heterosexual parents. In fact, not a single study has found the children of lesbian or gay parents to be disadvantaged because of their parents’ sexual orientation.’
Furthermore, here are the key findings from research:
‘There is no evidence to suggest that lesbians and gay men are unfit to be parents. Home environments with lesbian and gay parents are as likely to successfully support a child’s development as those with heterosexual parents.
Good parenting is not influenced by sexual orientation. Rather, it is influenced most profoundly by a parent’s ability to create a loving and nurturing home — an ability that does not depend on whether a parent is gay or straight.
There is no evidence to suggest that the children of lesbian and gay parents are less intelligent, suffer from more problems, are less popular, or have lower self-esteem than children of heterosexual parents.
The children of lesbian and gay parents grow up as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as the children of heterosexual parents.’
Anastasia // July 9, 2008 at 2:41 pm
I could argue with you for hours over these points however ill keep it short. Id much rather my money went towards something good, decent and worthwhile rather than things such as the millenium dome and the olympics. Also, a child does not need a mother and a father, a child needs a loving family and a good socialisation - how many types of particular genitals you have in parenting and how many different types structure of brain you have in parenting doesnt matter. ( brain = referring to sex differences, eg. men have larger parietal lobes whereas women have bigger frontal lobes).
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